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Guard your anonymity:
All
correspondence between Match.com members takes place through our
double-blind system, ensuring your true identity is protected until
you decide to reveal it. Never include your last name, email address,
home address, phone number, place of work or any other identifying
information in your free member profile or initial messages. When
corresponding with another Match.com member, turn off your email
signature file. Stop communicating with anyone who pressures you for
personal information or attempts in any way to trick you into
revealing it.
Exercise caution and common sense:
Careful, thoughtful decisions generally yield better dating results.
Guard against trusting the untrustworthy; suitors must earn your trust
gradually, through consistently honourable, forthright behavior. Take
all the time you need to test for a trustworthy person and pay careful
attention along the way. If you suspect someone is lying, he or she
probably is, so act accordingly.
Be
responsible about romance,
and don’t fall in love at the click of a mouse. Don’t become
prematurely intimate with someone, even if that intimacy only occurs
online. If you mutually decide to cross the point of no return, be
smart and protect yourself. The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and
Prevention provide some of the most current information available
about sexually transmitted diseases and preserving your health.
Request a photo:
A
photo will give you a good idea of the person's appearance, which may
prove helpful in achieving a gut feeling. In fact, it’s best to view
several images of someone in various settings: casual, formal, indoor
and outdoors. If all you hear are excuses about why you can't see a
photo, consider that he or she has something to hide. Since Match.com
offers free scanning services to its members, there’s no reason
someone shouldn’t be able to provide you a photo.
Chat on the phone:
A
phone call can reveal much about a person’s communication and social
skills.
Consider your security and do not reveal your personal phone number to
a stranger. Try a cell phone number instead or use local telephone
blocking techniques to prevent your phone number from appearing in
Caller ID. Only furnish your phone number when you feel completely
comfortable.
Meet when YOU are ready:
The
beauty of meeting and relating online is that you can collect
information gradually, later choosing whether to pursue the
relationship in the offline world. You never are obligated to meet
anyone, regardless of your level of online intimacy. And even if you
decide to arrange a meeting, you always have the right to change your
mind. It’s possible that your decision to keep the relationship at the
anonymous level is based on a hunch that you can’t logically explain.
Watch for red flags:
Pay
attention to displays of anger, intense frustration or attempts to
pressure or control you. Acting in a passive-aggressive manner, making
demeaning or disrespectful comments or any physically inappropriate
behavior are all red flags. You should be concerned if your date
exhibits any of the following behavior without providing an acceptable
explanation:
-
Provides
inconsistent information about age, interests, appearance, marital
status, profession, employment, etc.
-
Refuses to speak to
you on the phone after establishing ongoing, online intimacy.
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Fails to provide
direct answers to direct questions.
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Appears
significantly different in person from his or her online persona.
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Never introduces
you to friends, professional associates or family members.
Meet in a safe place:
When
you choose to meet offline, always tell a friend where you are going
and when you will return. Leave your date’s name and telephone number
with your friend.
Never arrange for your date to pick you up at home.
Provide your own transportation, meet in a public place at a time with
many people around, and when the date is over, leave on your own as
well. A familiar restaurant or coffee shop, at a time when a lot of
other people will be present, is often a fine choice. If you decide to
move to another location, take your own car. When the timing is
appropriate, thank your date for getting together and say goodbye.
Take extra caution outside your area:
If
you are flying in from another city, arrange for your own car and
hotel room. Do not disclose the name of your hotel and never allow
your date to make the arrangements for you. Rent a car at the airport
and drive directly to your hotel. Call your date from the hotel or
meet at the location you have already agreed to. If the location seems
inappropriate or unsafe, go back to your hotel. Try to contact your
date at that location or leave a message on a home machine. Always
make sure a friend or family member knows your plans and has your
contact information. And if possible, carry a cell phone at all times.
Get yourself out of a jam:
Never do anything you feel unsure about. If you are in any way afraid
of your date, use your best judgment to diffuse the situation and get
out of there. Excuse yourself long enough to call a friend for advice,
ask someone else on the scene for help or slip out the back door and
drive away. If you feel you are in danger, call the police; it’s
always better to be safe than sorry. Never worry or feel embarrassed
about your behavior; your safety is much more important than one
person’s opinion of you.
While
liars, cheaters and imposters certainly ply their craft on the Web,
you’ll also find them in nightclubs and offline dating services,
cocktail parties or even sitting across from you at your local café.
Regardless of where you meet someone, dating is never a risk-free
activity, but a little caution will reduce your risk. This article as
been bought to Mens-Network in association with
Match
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